Science is the what will determine our future, but unfortunately it is being attacked from multiple angles by, as physicist Mark B. Boslough says “those who twist legitimate multiculturalism by going way beyond.” Science is also being attacked by religion due to fundamentalists ignoring anything that is not backed up in the bible. There is a very small amount to even a null amount of science in the bible so the reject most of it. Lastly, there is a lot of cuts in the science budget because “they think that spending on science is like throwing money into a big hole in the ground.” This is a very narrow-minded look on science because it is responsible for so much. It has advanced our knowledge about disease, technology and discoveries. World renown cellist, Yo Yo Ma wrote the essay, “Necessary Edges: Arts, Empathy, and Education” and elaborated on his views of science, but he believes art should be incorporated into the scientific method. Ma says ” The values behind arts integration — collaboration, flexible thinking and disciplined imagination — lead to the capacity to innovate.” I personally agree with this because Ma explains how our brains do not think critically and empathetically at the same time. He believes art is the midline that can bring together critical and empathetic thinking and this could vastly increase our knowledge and make the people, as Boslough explains, not “attack” the subject and maybe empathetically accept what scientist are trying to get increased and advanced knowledge into out society.
This paragraph seems to move a little too quickly. Remember to slow down and center your paragraph around the claim in your claim sentence. It may be valuable for you to look at each sentence in this paragraph and say out loud what that sentence’s main point is. I think you’ll find there’s a wide variety of things going on, which leads to a scattered paragraph.