I feel like my essay wasn’t complete. I had a good start and thats the goal of a free draft a feel. My thesis wasn’t strong enough and didn’t make sense and didn’t back up my claims so I think that will be a good spot to start. All of my claims talk about the impact of football on spectators, participants, and me. I try to incorporate how math can increase the beauty and I think by incorporating the math aspect will create a stronger thesis. My next subject to attack is the multimodal aspect of the paper. I haven’t added anything, but I want to bold my quotes to make them “pop” out and for the reader to know what the paragraphs about. I also want to include imagery in forms of pictures and video. I want to just add some picture of football to back up what I am trying to say and I want to add a video to make the reader better understand my story of football. I want to add footage of when I made a big play that was considered beautiful. I think I have tackled the subjects that needed to be in my paper such as the senses talked about in the essay by John Armstrong. I think I have some work to do, but over break, I can get what I need done.
Great! Sounds like a plan!